It's hard
to believe, but we’ve been waiting to be matched for almost a
year. A few quiet nibbles, and a couple strong votes of confidence (we've been
chosen as a "favorite family" twice now!), but we're basically in the
same spot as last year at this same time - eager, excited, curious,
scared and ready.
So
what happens as we approach the one-year mark? Well, first we got to do
another round of fingerprints to be sure The Wait hadn't driven us to a life of
crime (thankfully we're still holding strong!). Next we got doctor notes confirming
we're still healthy (blood pressure still within normal ranges- that’s good!),
and had a meeting with our adoption coordinator to talk about the Last Minute
List.
There
are no guarantees with the LML, but it might just take us from 1+1 to 1+1+1
very quickly. Here’s how it works:
The
agency gets a call from a hospital, saying a woman has given birth and wants to
place her baby for adoption. A social worker goes to the hospital and counsels Birthmom,
exploring all options. Does she have any family members who might help? Would
she like to place her baby in foster care for a short time so she can get some
plans together, and then reunite? Women find themselves in this situation for
all kinds of reasons- perhaps she didn’t realize she was pregnant until shortly
before giving birth, or she knew she wanted adoption but didn’t have the
resources to learn about it, or maybe she just wasn’t sure until labor was
over. If she’s still serious about adoption after counseling, Birthmom will be
presented with waiting families from the LML, and perhaps she’ll pick us. If
she does, we will ask everyone to put on your seatbelts!
LML’s
are localized, so we would only be presented to Birthmoms within driving
distance of Oakland. But we’d get that phone call as soon as she selects us,
middle of the night or middle of the afternoon, and we’d receive whatever information
the social worker had gleaned. Then we get 30 minutes to make a decision. That’s
right- a half hour! I can’t imagine saying no, but there could certainly be extenuating
circumstances or risk factors that could lead us to decline. We just won’t know
until we know.
But
if we say yes, Operation Baby begins.
Dylan
and I will convene at the house if we aren’t already there, and gather our
pre-packed bags, including some basic infant supplies recently acquired from
our friendly local Target (I won’t deny it was a complete joy to buy that
stuff!). We’ll call in our dog support, probably need to take a million deep
breaths, swing by a flower shop to pick up something pretty for Birthmom, and
head out to the hospital.
From
here, the story gets less certain. Lots will depend on Birthmom’s wishes, the
health of the baby, Birthfather’s presence or lack thereof, the role of
extended family, etc. etc. etc. So many things we just won’t know until the
situation presents itself. But what a day that would be! Long story/short, we
could be home that night with a newborn baby. Are you getting goosebumps yet? I know I am!
As
I mentioned, there are no guarantees. These placements tend to have a higher
rate of “reclaim” – your basic nightmare for adoptive families. We may also
have to sit in limbo for a longer period if Birthmom delays signing the
relinquishment documents. It’s also
possible we won’t be selected from the LML at all- the agency only does about 20
placements of this type across the nation each year.
But
our agency’s average wait time for adoptive families is 14.5 months, and we are
now at 11. While we are certainly not your average couple (I mean
c’mon!), we have followed the agency’s every recommendation like good students
and we must have the most supportive network of friends anyone has ever seen.
When it’s time, I’m certain our baby will sense this, and steer Birthmom our
way. LML, or otherwise.
In the meantime, we'll keep nesting and sending out the good vibes. And watching our phones very carefully.
 |
| Beautiful quilt from Cristy, our Last Minute kit of baby bag and car seat, and a splash of sunshine |
p.s.
To all of our family, friends, and extended network of future friends- we are
so grateful for your words of encouragement and faith in our journey. Every
note you send is a reassurance and valued support. Thank you, Thank you, Thank
you!
