In most of the articles and blog posts I’ve read by other
waiting adoptive parents, the message is loud and clear that you must not put
your life on hold while you’re waiting for your baby to find you. Planning to remodel
your house? Do it! Want to troll the streets of Paris? Do it! Try a new
haircut, bake a 10-tiered cake, take up the ancient art of karate? Do it!
For the first few months, I must admit I struggled with this
a little. Every time I’d do something, really anything, my brain would apply a
filter I’ll call “Could I do this with a baby?’ and almost 100% of the time,
the answer was No. After a while, it appeared all of my life’s activities and
interests were incompatible and I would need to change everything to make
room for the baby. You know, get ready.
What would that look like exactly? To start living as if
there’s already a baby here?
First, and most obviously, I should give up on sleep. Maybe
I’ll just start setting an alarm for every 90 minutes throughout the night and
make myself go downstairs, open the refrigerator a couple of times, turn on the
microwave, and come back upstairs. I’m sure Dylan would really love this
opportunity to prepare, and screw that actual 4am wake-up bell- it’s for the baby!
Then there’s reading. I hear new moms can’t read much more
than a paragraph, mostly due to the nonstop caretaking activities, but also
because of a complete lack of brainpower. So I should just toss those magazines
from the mailbox right into the recycling bin- it’s for the baby!
Of course, then we deal with life’s other basics – eating
and showering. Eating will probably become more on-the-go than ever, so I
should skip the stir-fry, roasted vegetables, tacos, and anything else
requiring more than a moment’s preparation and go with crackers from the box,
string cheese, and lean cuisines - so tasty and not salty at all! And showering
is just overrated. Once every 2 weeks should be just fine. After all- it's for the baby.
Dog walks? They should really learn to do it themselves. Yoga? Dance class? You’re funny, Jonna- like that’s ever gonna happen! So really, I
should just buy a boppy and park myself on the sofa, watching nonstop Friday
Night Lights on Netflix while I hold a bottle near my chest and gaze down at
the crook of my arm. It’s for the baby!
Really?
Gratefully, I instead accept my current life in place of this “preparation.”
I trust that I’ll be able to adjust when the time is right. I'm not the first Mom to go through this transition, and I will certainly not be the last. And that's part of the experience, right? Reflecting on how much your life changes when a baby comes along? Transforming into the new chapter of your identity? Being thrilled and terrified by how much you care about this new life in your arms?
For now, I will keep trying new recipes, showering every day (sometimes twice!), reading whole books, walking the dogs, taking long bubble baths with my sweetie and a glass of wine with no care for bedtime, going to yoga, attending as many as three Hipline classes a week and staying out for cocktails afterwards, and finally, savoring each perfect moment of the suspense.
For now, I will keep trying new recipes, showering every day (sometimes twice!), reading whole books, walking the dogs, taking long bubble baths with my sweetie and a glass of wine with no care for bedtime, going to yoga, attending as many as three Hipline classes a week and staying out for cocktails afterwards, and finally, savoring each perfect moment of the suspense.
The baby is coming, I just don’t
know when.
