In case you’re wondering, we’re still waiting. Day by day, we wait. Paying the bills and grocery shopping, doing laundry and catching up on Modern Family, walking the dogs and going to yoga class, we wait.
It’s not completely unlike regular life, except there’s a hum in the background. Or maybe it’s a clock. Or a metronome. Or the Jeopardy song. Anyhow, there is a little something extra hanging around since, after all, at any minute we could get the life-changing call that someone bought us tickets for the train to Baby Town.
So I like to talk about waiting sometimes, and some weeks ago, an old friend suggested I use this time to take stock of what might be “unfinished.” It was just a flash across her mind while we were talking about The Waiting, but her flashes intrigue me because unlike mine (which are often induced by too much green tea or cupcakes), hers are often not just flashes but actual premonitions.
So I’ve been reflecting on what might be unfinished and here’s the easiest stuff I’m starting with:
1) Photograph project: To say I love pictures is like saying mayonnaise is gross. So obvious! I do love pictures – so much that I have at least 4 shoeboxes full to the brim with 4x6 prints from 1990-2003ish. The rest are on my computer, or carefully resting in photo albums from the last time I did a photograph project. I am about half-way through this latest project, but abandoned it last year because it was too overwhelming. So what did I do? Got hold of some new photo albums, and sorted all the photos by year. Next up… throw the uninteresting ones away, and jam the rest into the albums.
2) My Clothes: …are a mess. My drawers are too full and I have out of control piles in the closet. What percentage of all these clothes do I actually wear regularly? I’m thinking approximately 25%. So- time to filter out the old to make space for…burpee blankets! Plus my sister will be tickled to comb through the piles for some gently used, share-able gems.
3) Refrigerator: Now that was a mess. Until yesterday! Bottles of “aged” salad dressing, sauces, and marinades…gone. Dried green onions in the back of the crisper…gone. Chicken broth from….when? Gone. A wipe down and quick shuffle of shelves, and I can check another thing off the list.
Of course, these are all perennial – I will face each of them again, I know. But what else could this possibly be about?
There are probably some unfinished discussions about division of chores, and sleep schedules, and what we’d like the child to call us (Mama, Mom, Mommie, Lady?). And I know there’s lots of unfinished decisions about finances, and daycare, and schools, and which baby food, bottle, binkie and blankets to buy. But that can’t be it, right?
And don’t even get me started on the “real” unfinished business of our personal work and journey as a couple. Do we still have stuff to work on? You bet! It would be pretty boring if we didn’t.
But I can’t imagine a requirement of getting all that in order before a child comes. First of all, it would be impossible. And second, why would that rule only apply to us? Or other couples trying to adopt? Seems like babies arrive to people with far more unfinished business than us, every single day.
So, I appreciated the opportunity to ponder this. But my final verdict is that we are ready to bring a baby into our family right now. Unfinished business and all.
Back to the easy stuff for a minute…you might think I missed the most obvious unfinished item- the baby room! But that one needs to stay unfinished, I think, until we get closer. It’s like saving the crispy edges of a brownie for your last bite – best for last!
